i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
