i think my tv is drunk
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
