Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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