we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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