it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
