so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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