Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
