I love black thongs
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
