You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
