Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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