i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
