So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
