we're chasing vodka with high fives
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
you will always have a special place in my vag
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
