I wanna bring you to show and tell
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
