their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
