peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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