i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
