Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
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