Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
