My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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