Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Randomize
