I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
