Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
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