Your tits are I can't wait for
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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