Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
