But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Randomize
