You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
