it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
