the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
