you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
