I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
my liver is dry heaving
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
