Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I will be naked everywhere
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
