Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
