new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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