I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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