i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
