Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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