Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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