Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
