You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
