Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
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