why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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