I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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