Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
