i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize