Me. At least after what I've been through.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
