I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
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