i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
