Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Randomize
