forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I have aggressive nipples.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
