He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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