I would go down on you faster than GM stock
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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