I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
