so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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