So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
They took my balls.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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