just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
