I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
