I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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