he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize