Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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