Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
