check it out our google latitudes are spooning
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Randomize
