i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
so much tequila, so little girl.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
