She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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