What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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