Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
