she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
